SACRED EMPRESS COMMUNITY

Almost seven decades ago.
66 years ago.
66 means unconditional love.
We met again.
Our souls met again.
In another body and another timeline.
I don’t know how many times we’ve met, and I don’t know how much unfinished business we had.

Manhattan, 1952
You were 27 years old at the time: handsome, with long curly blond hair, always dressed in a tuxedo. You were the son of a powerful newspaper media family.
You were short-tempered, ambitious, and a perfectionist when it came to business.

I am Tina. 32 years old, half-Portuguese and half-European.
My parents were divorced.
I didn’t want to live in Portugal, and I didn’t want to live with my dad in Europe, so I decided to move to the USA.
I had long, curly, brunette red hair.
I worked as a Tax Consultant and a Junior Lawyer.

Our First Meeting
We first met at a Jazz Club.
You often went there to observe people and enjoy a drink.
I went there for a different reason: I drank until I blacked out because I hated my life.

For four weeks, you watched me from a distance.
I didn’t noticed you.
One evening, you arrived early because you wanted to meet me before I got drunk.
You introduced yourself politely and handed me your business card.
I wasn’t interested.
I laughed and asked, “Why are you giving me this man card?”
You laughed and replied, “Because that’s who I am: the son of a media family.”

Falling in Love
Day by day,
Month by month,
I slowly stopped drinking so much because of you.
And somehow, you became more energetic and successful in your work.

Then, after two years,
On a cold winter night beside the river, you proposed to me with a beautiful clock necklace.
I didn’t believe in love, so I laughed at you, but you became serious.
Then I said, “I need some time to think about it.”

My Investigation Background
Being both a Lawyer and a Tax consultant, I knew how to investigate people.
I did some research, everything about you and your family.
Then I discovered something interesting.
He had been engaged to another girl three years ago, before me.
She was the daughter of an important government figure.
Now she was married, had one daughter, and was expecting a second child.
Her husband was a European diplomat.
I didn’t know why, but my heart felt this wasn’t right, though I decided to stay positive.

You gave me everything, yet sometimes I felt distant from you.
Not because of your work.
Because you were never fully present.
You gave me status, wealth, and every luxury things.
But sometimes, I wondered if you truly gave me your heart.

The Prenup
We decided to marry in a Catholic ceremony.
His family is very rich and has deeply rooted Catholic traditions.

I wasn’t religious at all.
I didn’t have a religion because I didn’t believe in God at all due to my trauma.

One day you asked me:
“What do you want? A prenup? Separate assets? Or do you want Properties?”
I replied, “No.”
“There is only one thing I want.”

With the paper in front of us, my uncle looked at me, and the document was ready to be signed.
You were shocked and silent, but you still chose to sign the paper.

We went to a big law firm.
The lawyer was my only uncle who lived in the USA.
I placed a document in front of you.

There was only one rule written on it:
“If you ever cheat on me, you must walk away from my life and you can never to see me again.”

My uncle looked at me.
The papers were ready.
He stared at them in shock.
You were silent for a long time.
But in the end, He signed.

Our Wedding
We argued often, but we still chose each other.
We were married in Cathedral.
In front of the priest, our families, and our friends, we promised each other love until death.

We always argued about things, but we still decided to marry.
We had a beautiful wedding in the Cathedral.
We made our vows for life and death in front of the Priest, our families, and our friends,
My mom and my dad is came to see our wedding.

Our reception was held on a yacht along the Manhattan riverside.
It was so lovely, beautiful, surrounded by our family and close friends.
Life felt perfect.

The Betrayal
Our marriage was happy.
Everything was going well.
Then one day, when I was three months pregnant.
Everything changed.

At that day,
We were supposed to have lunch together.
You never arrived.
So I decided to visit your Office.
When I got there, I saw your former fiancée holding a crying baby boy.
She was saying that the child was yours.

My world stopped.
I was trembling.
Frozen.
Crying.

I was pregnant.
And my husband had a child with another woman.
Maybe some people would not see it as a big deal.
But to me, it was betrayal.

The Balcony
That night, we argued on the balcony of our Apartment.
I asked only one question:
“Was it before me or after me?”
You said, “It happened when we broke up and you visited your Dad in Europe.”
You cried and fell to your knees at my feet.

The Breaking Point
I tried to have our Marriage annulled.
I knew it was nearly impossible in the Catholic Church.
But I tried anyway.
To you, it wasn’t a Major issue.
You said that you can solved it.
To me, it was a big deal.

We tried marriage counseling with The Priest.
Standing before the cross, the statue of Jesus, and the statue of Mother Mary, you said:
“We are Catholic. We can only marry once. You are mine forever, and no one can have you except me.”
Thunder and heavy rain outside.
We couldn’t reach a conclusion, so we went home.

Goodbye
On a Saturday morning, I walked beside the river.
I realized I had to leave.
It wasn’t because I didn’t love you.
I loved you deeply.
I was simply exhausted.
Life had betrayed me too many times.
Maybe I just wanted peace.
Maybe I just wanted to be alone

I returned home
I packed my belongings.
You were still asleep.
I kissed you softly and whispered goodbye.
Then I left.

I ran to the River
I bought a ship ticket to England from a broker
And then I boarded the Ship.

Goodbye, America.
Goodbye, My Love.

The Loss
The voyage was unbearable.
I suffered from nausea, panic attacks, and morning sickness because of the pregnancy.
And the stress became too much.

I lost the baby because of everything I went through.

I lost you.
I lost The Baby.
And I lost Myself.

Three years later…
I moved to Holland to live with my Dad.
Three years later, I saw your photograph in a newspaper.
You had inherited your father’s media empire.
You had taken your son from your ex.
In the photograph: You were smiling and waving to the camera while holding your son.

Life is so unfair to me.

Now, in this Lifetime
I still carry her pain.
I need to reverse and break those two Vows on an energetic level.